Mens sana in corpore sano – My vision 2017

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It was a shocking news when I receive my medical check up result from my university. It was clearly stated that I have a serious problem with my liver. Ok, I had a little problem with that, I admit that.. when I was in Indonesia. But they say it is not really serious, but here, I seems so serious.
Hah? What? Oh come on what kind of joke it is? Because personally, I feel good.
And you know Japan? They even get crazy by flu, of course this one make everyone lose their mind. What a total chaos.

In short, I need to meet a doctor.

I have two big problems:
1. I have a little “nosocomephobia” it is phobia to hospital, to be honest I am so scare  with hospital. Oh come on, have you see public hospital in Indonesia? It is… I don’t know how to describe it. You can see everyone, from the fit one until someone who (maybe) already face-to-face with the Death Angel. Maybe because there are lots of people and limited space.

I also have lots of bad experiences with hospitals. When my mom suffered by sudden stroke, several hospital rejected her. Maybe because I am alone, not look like such a rich person. Oh course, I have no time to change my clothes, bring all of my saving account, tidy up my messy wavy curly hair (I think I was look like a crazy person that time). In that time, I am just panic and alone, and I can’t think.
It is both scare and hatred in my heart about hospital. Once, I told to myself, it is better to die hypothermia in north pole and beaten by polar bear than I should  go to hospital. NO, thanks!

2. It is Japan, I need to find a doctor who able to speak Japanese very well. “Very well” or I should say “fluently” because I planed to ask many things. Or if possible, complain about everything! Hahahaha…

Luckily, I have very nice supervisor and friends here, they find me a good hospital and doctor. “Ok, Marissa you need good hospital and good doctor, we will make appointment with one professor in the university hospital. You will like him”that’s how Japan really “all-out” for everything

So, I went to that recommended hospital. And it was my first time to visit university hospital…. and it was COOL! hhahha…. it looks like research center more than a hospital. Wow! I am so impressed and forgot to take a photo :’D It is clean, wide, bright, and every nurse are smiling and greeting “Konnichiwa…” waaah, so great! I really want to bring my mom here :’D

I took my medcheck, and after that scheduled to meet my doctor… I am surprised when I met my doctor for the first time. Oh my Goodness, I wonder he already have students who already become today’s fresh-professor :’D I am never expect everyone in my office will listen my “request” this serious, so they search for the sensei of the sensei in that hospital for me? Ahahaha ok that’s great. However, my doctor is very nice, it is like you meet you grand father.

“Ok, Marissa-san, how do you feel?” said my grand-father-able doctor
“I feel perfect, Sensei…and don’t understand why I should meet you, to be honest. I come here because, you know, a bit ‘forced'”
“Haha… really?  Well, you should. Here, look your medical check up result. Ah…Marissa-san you should care about your health more”
“Really? But…But…? Whoa… lots of notes here. Sensei can you explain more?”
“Of course I will, but promise you will have regular meeting at least once every month. Until your condition better”
“Tell me first, I will deal it later”
“I spent almost all of my life as a doctor, and I know a patient like you who usually disappear when they feel good. You, I can say, in this type.”
“Ok, for my curiosity”
“Very  well, it is my last year before I retire. So, be good on me”

So tadaaa, then it was started a 30 minutes lecture about your liver and stuff :’D
My doctor in Indonesia never give explanation like that, so at first it was shocked me.

“It seems bad, Sensei. I never realize that… but wait… so, I will die or what? For this one let’s make it direct.”
“In the long run we are all dead, Marissa-san”
“Ahahhaa…. John Keynes! Oh seriously, Sensei”
“Wah! You know it! You are a true economist. No…you just need to take care you self more. I mean hmmm… it is already quite long, your health problem, but you really ignorant with it. So, if you don’t want to make it worse, you need to take a good care of yourself from now. If not, well… I can’t help.”

I choose alive for sure 😀

And another thing that make me happy is, he only give me one medicine….usually I flooded by bunch of medicine
“You only give me one type of medicine, really?”
“yes…why? Do you want more?”
“No, I mean… in Indonesia I drank lots of medicine”
“Not only in Indonesia, almost in every place. I have three reason: 1. I don’t like to give antibiotic for my patient, it makes them resistant with the disease. 2. Too much medicine will make your liver work harder, basically medicine is a poison in a small dose. so, better I limit it. 3. It is your effort to recover which important, not the medicine.”

I don’t know what do you think about my doctor, but I think he shouldn’t retire too fast. There are lots of medical students who will need his wise advises. Do you think so? But he said he really want to travel around the world after this hahahaha…. I can understand his feeling.
I am curious to meet him again next month. And seriously, you need to take care of yourself 🙂 sometimes you just feeling unwell and never care about that.
If I want to be a good researcher and good student, I think I should in fully fit condition.

じゃあ!元気なります!:D

 

When your teacher talks to you…

I think it is also unusual for us to talk heart by heart with our teacher, supervisor, professor, even maybe to our parent. But today I have quite deep conversation with my professor. Actually, it was a casual interview, at first he asked me about my part-time contract, whether I want to continue to work or not. Of course it is an absolute yes. Where else in Japan I can be a researcher, in very nice place, having very nice secretary, teachers, friends, and hey! they speak English very well (I don’t know it is a good side or not hahaha, it makes me lazy to learn Japanese).

But in the end of the interview, I almost cried….
not because my professor doing bad on me, but because he is very kind.

“… I know you will face lots of burden in your research, but you need to encounter it. No matter how hard it will be, you also will find your way to deal with it. I believe, someday you will become a very good researcher, you will work with wider research topics, working with lots of new people from diverse background. More than you know, I believe you are very keen researcher, you just need to meet a right and good team, that’s it. So, in my pray as your teacher and someday maybe your research partner, I always hope you will surrounded by very nice people. With your passion, I believe you can develop every single thing I told you someday. You can make your own achievements and it should be better than what we, your teacher, made

I am rarely hear that from my professor. To be precise… from Japanese.
Oh let me correct it, I never heard that from my teacher.
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When you read this, I don’t know the way your teachers treat you. But in this educational level, some people in my home country (well… of course not all) are more likely to see their student as “rival” rather than “friend” or just simply “student.”
I always appreciate my teacher as my teacher, I come from teacher-family so I know how to appreciate this noble occupation. But along with my higher education, I feel more and more distance with them. Personally, I am always a big fans of all my teachers. No matter how high my education will be, I will never beat something we call “experiences”

I know how poor my ability to show up my true feeling, what is it inside my heart. But, I really love my teacher. And until forever, they always be my teacher… I also hope, until forever they will recognize me as their student.

Cycling back to my home, I can’t forget what my professor said to me that day.
I think I will never be able to reply every kindness he made, so I made a decision….I will make every single hope he made on me become a reality.

 

My New Book log: A book diary for every bibliophile

I really love books, but while life getting more serious and busier, I can’t read as much as I want. Of course I am still reading, but reading academic journal, country’s data, my program syntax. That’s fun at first, but I get bored sometimes by that academic stuff.

So now, I utilize my 5-10 minutes to read every day whether in the morning or before sleep. The problem is, that time is too limited for me, because I am kind a person who love to make notes from every books I read. I love to leave some notes there to remind me which are the interesting or important part of the books.

Know that I really love books and making notes about it, my secretary in my office recommend me to have a “wanna do diary”. I know Japan really love diary and stuff, but “book’s diary”? it was my another “huh?” here. This book log is only sold in Japan Loft shop. And it is AWESOME at least for me hehe. So here is my new book log.

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I wonder it still not really famous outside Japan or between the foreigner, so mainly the content is in Japanese. But google translate will give some help :p
Inside you can write your short synopsis, interesting parts (and from which page), photo space,and you can make your own spider web so you can easily score your book. I love it! It will ease me to recommend books to my friends who love books (or give up to find a suit books for them from my book shelves).

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I will not talk too much today 🙂 I feel so excited to try my new book log 😀
So excited. While I also should prepare my day for working tomorrow.

Happy reading!
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Days after holiday is over…

New year holiday is such a very serious holiday for Japan people. It is one of the longest banking holiday in this country. In my office and any other offices throughout Japan (including bank) are off from 29th December- 3rd January. Some restaurant even closed until 4th or 6th January. I can understand that while new year holiday is precious “family time” for all people in this workaholic country.

Holiday may refresh your brain, but in the other hand, it is also can make your brain in such hibernate mode for a while.

I really enjoyed my holiday… although I know I spent lots of money this year 😦
When you enjoy something, you will feel time pass so fast, so do my holiday.
I realize I will have an important interview, research presentation, journal draft review, and lots of homework. My brain started to panic, yeph panic! But still too lazy to work. I can’t understand why our body always choose to work near the deadline rather than prepare everything in advance. It is obviously panic, but still can’t focus… and choose to look every random pictures of cat and so excited with the “Sherlock” series this January.

I think I am better to sleep then.
I hope tomorrow I can be back to my active productive mode and ready to face everything ahead.
2017…. I am rarely say this cliche thing but seriously “please be nice” and bloom beautifully like every flowers in tropical climate.

POOOF!

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Wish me luck!

 

Deep thought about 2016 and how this year changes me a lot

“Life is not always perfect. Like a road, it has many bends, ups and down, but that’s its beauty.” —Amit Ray from The Voice of a Mountain Bird

It is as many things happened in my life and converts everything from ordinary to the extraordinary journey. Who can expect that now I am becoming a Ph.D. candidate student? Doing research in such a very great place in Japan, surrounded by a very nice person…
Even myself never imagine that I will land my feet to foreign countries.

I met lots of great people on this planet,
Learn new things,
Eat lots of good foods,
enjoy every ups and contempt every down

Without no one know, I cried a lot in the past. I feel alone to face everything new. I didn’t know whether leaving my home country is such a good choice, I didn’t know it is a right decision or not to put my “ear plug” on and stop listening to what almost all people say. Every time I come to my father’s cemetery I always grumbling and said “I don’t know I can handle everything by myself, I really don’t know, you leave us too fast.”

It was a very big question in my life, is it true to leave home?
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I remember if in the middle of this road my younger brother never comes and ask me to go, maybe I will never be at this point. I still remember when he brought his piggy bank and asked me “So if you still not sure, tell me how much I should pay so you can make you flight to Tokyo?”
Have you ever face in your life that there is only one person around you who support you more than you support yourself.

My mom and my family were a little bit doubt about my decision to continue my study, of course for lots of rational reasons which I can understand. But, you always need to make a choice in your life. And you can’t please anyone in your life.

 

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2 years is passed, I am already gain my master degree, and now… become a super newbie researcher in one Japanese research center under my super nice supervision of my professor. Just like every road, of course there always winding road, gravels, and sometimes you pass a dark tunnel, but after all some light and beautiful scenery awaits.

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To be honest, I think to accept the scholarship offer and listen to my brother is the greatest decision I ever made. I also grateful for every people who encourage me to take a leap in my life.
I am drowning in such a great joy. I am happy and feel lucky to meet new people who can understand me, appreciate my self, appreciate my mind and ideas.
I feel like an alien who wandering around the galaxy, and at last find a planet which inhabited with another alien who can understand me. I feel like, it is okay to be an alien…

 

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How time can change you?
You learn lots of new things….

You cook….
You grow flowers on your tiny balcony…
You lonely and sad sometimes but you already experienced to handle everything…
You appreciate everything you have…

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And you finally realize that you love all people who love you more than words, more than you can explain, and maybe more than what they know. It is like finding a new querencia* in your life.

I can’t be more grateful, well…maybe I can, I am still waiting what will happen next time in the future.

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*querencia: /spanish/ a place where one feels safe, a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn, a place where one feels at home.

Yeay! New English Page :D

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okay… World 🙂
So I decide to make another blog for my English post.
I am checking my blog stat, and sometimes there are lots of reader from outside Indonesia, and I wonder they will not understand at all what I wrote on it. Furthermore, I feel pity with my English 😦 I should write more on it.
Oh well, but just like a new home… I need to add some furniture, decorate some corners, everything 🙂
I think I will have more works on it.
Wish me luck!